2 people I know, 3 theories I have and 4 web things I’d fix.

Kirk’s on the right.

Person 1: Kirk.

I’ve only met Kirk Docker briefly a couple of times and we’ve spoken on the phone. Most of what I know about him, I derive from his work  as the founder of Vive Cool City and as a Hungry Beast.

I think his work says more than I could. But I think his ability to tell stories without judgment, to ask questions without implication and to get people to be open about the most difficult and painful things is extraordinary.

I think he could become one of the defining Australian storytellers over the next few decades.

Watch Kirk talk to a couple shooting smack here. This is not for the faint-hearted, but it is one of the most honest, painful portrayals of addiction I have seen.

Kirk did a piece for the ABC on the ‘Gang of 49′. I was in Adelaide when the Gang of 49 stuff was going down and it was a bit disconcerting. Watching Kirk dissect the whole thing is incredible.

Gang Of 49: The Gang That Never Was – Extended Cut

The other example of his capability is his extended piece on the treatment of paedophilia. I can’t think of more difficult or sensitive subject matter to try and present. But somehow Kirk manages. How many journalists anywhere could have done this?

Person 2: Nick.

A concept and a context.

Nick is Nick Boshier, who is in New York right now starring in the NY Fringe Festival play One Thumb Out.

Nick managed Lior for many years and now is a self-described ‘slashie’, as in, actor slash writer slash producer slash entrepreneur.

Nick, alongside mates Macca and Jarod, was behind the cult-viral-culturally iconic Trent From Punchy and Beached Whale. Watch them below if you aren’t familiar.

Beached az.

Trent, Trent, Trent.

Off the back of these videos, Nick and his crew have made real money, creating a business model in the process for turning viral success into something sustainable.

Based in LA, Nick is insanely charismatic, driven and determined. And from no real, formal acting background, I think he might become a superstar.

Watch whatever he does next.

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Theory 1: The Basquiat Hair Theory.

Your best haircuts always coincide with your greatest moments of self-realisation.

You cannot be at the top of your game and have a bad haircut. Sometimes, you might be near the top of your game but you need a great haircut to push you over the edge.

Cases in point:

Jean-Michel Basquiat.

Young and unfulfilled                  Vs.                  Peak of his powers.

Vinny Chase.

Crushing it                 Vs                The new Felicity

JenJen.

The ‘do’                           Vs                          Can’t find a bro to marry

I came up with this theory whilst watching Radiant Child (trailer below) and lamenting the fact I haven’t had a Basquiat Hair moment since 2003.

Theory 2: The Facebook Photos As A Narrative Theory.

I tagged a friend in a photo on Facebook recently. When I went back to the photo, I noticed he was no longer tagged. I tried retagging him but Facebook informed me I couldn’t tag him because he’d detagged himself.

How vain, right?

I was confused because he was tagged in much less flattering photos than the one I tagged. What was the deal? What was it about my photo of him that was so wrong?

My friend’s explanation was that he chose only to be tagged in photos that represented or added to the narrative of his life in an accurate or interesting way. I tagged him at an event where he had already been tagged by someone else. He was therefore covered in his photos for this part of his life.

Your Facebook photos represent a a story of your life. In many cases, they are one of the most public stories you have. For old or distant friends, they are sometimes the only available representations.

Having 37 photos of the big night you had at TGI Friday’s obscures people’s ability to get to the interesting photo of you in Morocco 4 years ago.

Facebook photos of you are a narrative you should control. If this theory holds, you should be tagged in 40-50 photos, which viewed from start to finish, give people your story in recent years.

Time to hit ‘remove tag’.

Theory 3: The Love Music You Love Theory.

In 2007, I interviewed Hank Shocklee from Public Enemy. I asked a question about music taste and finding great new music, referencing Pitchfork and its famously divisive reviews. He looked at me annoyed.

- Man, f%&k that. Listen to your own s$%t. The only judge of great music is you. If you love a song, if you love it, that’s enough. And it doesn’t matter when or where you find it, so long as you love it, that’s great music.

I took the wheel of my musical journey around 1996. I had been given ‘Dookie’, ‘Nevermind’ and Offspring’s ‘Smash’ on tape by friends.

I loved those tapes to their wobbly death.

Then I got my first CD, ‘August and Everything After’ by Counting Crows (to this day one of my favourite records) and started reading back-copies of Rolling Stone from the Council Library. I used to read every article and every review, using the subtle references or landmarks as launching points for discovery.

Why did all these articles mention My Bloody Valentine, The Pixies, The Smiths, Little Richard, Velvet Underground?

I started reading liner notes and branching into new places.

Then I started listening to albums that didn’t make sense at first – Chemical Brothers ‘Surrender’ and Tool ‘Aenima’ – but then slowly unfolded into something I loved. These were my personal Rites of Spring.

Somewhere along the way though, listening to what I loved gave way to knowing first and knowing most.

After I was introduced to Pitchfork, I spent years of my life devoting hours daily to trying to become and stay a forerunner in ‘music taste’.

Hank’s ‘love what you love’ spiel came around the time I started to tire of the fashionable music grind.

In the last few years I’ve learnt to love what I love and let that be my guide. I’ve given up trying to be into the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, I’ve conceded that I’ll never get LCD Soundsystem and I’m comfortable that I’ll  never be able to tolerate Lightning Bolt records or Bambabounce DJ Sets.

I’m into lots of stuff that makes me lame: Phil Collins/Genesis, songs featuring T-Pain/Jeezy, auto-tune, Lady Antebellum, the Isley Brothers, Usher’s ‘Confessions’, Chaka Khan…

Pitchfork would give my taste a 4.4 but so long as I’m finding songs to love, I’m OK with that.

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Web Thing I’d Fix 1: Tumblr Save

Read within the images below.

And while WordPress has it most of the way there, hitting save draft takes you back to the top of the post, rather than back to where you were typing.

750words.com is still the best save as you go writing interface I use (GoogDocz is also amazing). 

Web Thing I’d Fix 2: Twitter Sign-In

I click on sign-in, where my details are remembered and the uname/pword fields usually drop down.

But if the page is slow to load, I end up here, where I don’t have my details saved. This happens 5 times a week.

Just want the Twitter front page to be simple like Googzmail.

Web Thing I’d Fix 3: My Facebook Feed

I want to be able to select the friends whose updates I want in my feed.

I don’t want to have to hear updates from bros I knew but didn’t like in Grade 9.

Web Thing I’d Fix 4: The SMH

The SMH is still the place I go for Australian news. But it’s a terrible, horrible, no-good, auto-load video, spamalam, textathon, width-be-damned nightmare. And until something better comes along, I’ll have to keep putting up with it.

Bonus: My Favourite Video in Months

Music by Erk Tha Jerk.